I am here to tell you about Raga: It is a poison /sickness in a person’s soul. Please, do not confuse it with Polyamory in any way. The monogamous folks would disagree with my statement but hear me out and judge me after you have read my page. Raga is desire “lust" that you cannot get rid of very easy. Kind of like bed bugs. especially if you want to ignore the issues right front of you. It can happen to both women and men from early teens until ☠ death.
Without naming people, I will tell you all my life I have had to deal with raga of one form or another, and the effects it had on me tore me up until not too long ago... It was kin, kindred, and people I never knew, that were either hitting on, flirting with, or just down right having sex behind my back with my significant other. I would find out later from them or from others about them. This started with my first crush, and even now, it is still happening to this day, even after a few deaths. I know it will never stop. So, it will be, what it will be.
I have seen the adult entertainment industry destroy men; from well to do rich guys taking a client out, to the schmuck sitting on the edge of the road because he could not get rid of the porn of one sort or another. My shame was helping that industry by taking my friends in to get jobs dancing and showing my support, but at that time it is what I knew. As far as my dealing with porn, I have lived with it all my life. It is a long story, but to make it short, in the last hours of his life I knew someone who had to have his porn before he died. I will never have porn in my house again and when anyone brings it into my home it will be requested to go "The porn king is dead" We do not have that here, please leave.
These are good examples of Raga, please learn from this and do whatever you can to find a cure quick.
This was my cure:
My current wife told me about polyamory and then I looked into it. What I learned confirms it, I was born to either be poly or be in prison. I think poly is the better of the two ideas. I can tell you that in this life "I WILL NEVER BE MONOGAMOUS AGAIN “you can take that to the bank and cash it right now. We are poly-fidelital not some sex starved "depraved type” people. We have tact and we also have partners we can trust and rely on. We keep no secrets from one another as far as I know, and she confirms her loyalty all the time. We believe in many loves not many sexual partners. My wife and I seek "loyalty with love", so we may have "family first" when they are one with us, until one of us has "Death with honor".
The journey to overcome the addiction to desire is indeed a complex and deeply personal one. It often involves a multifaceted battle with both psychological and physiological aspects. Understanding this addiction requires an exploration of the human psyche, the triggers that prompt desire, and the mechanisms by which it becomes an overpowering force in one's life. However, the process of gaining control over these desires is transformative. It can lead to a profound sense of empowerment and well-being. The mastery over one's cravings often brings about a newfound clarity and a deeper appreciation for the more subtle and sustainable joys of life. Those who have experienced this control describe it as liberating, providing a sense of peace that was once overshadowed by the relentless pursuit of desire. This control is not just about suppression but about understanding and managing one's needs and wants in a balanced and healthy way. It's a testament to the resilience and adaptability of the human spirit.
Accepting oneself after enduring various life challenges is a complex and deeply personal journey. It involves reflecting on experiences such as incarceration, divorce, multiple relationships, financial losses, and intimate encounters that may have led to confusion or a sense of loss. These experiences, while difficult, can also be transformative, contributing to a deeper understanding of one's identity and values. Polyamory, a form of non-monogamy where individuals have consensual relationships with multiple partners, requires open communication, self-awareness, and the ability to manage feelings like jealousy and insecurity. It's a relationship style that not only challenges societal norms but also personal insecurities, pushing individuals to confront and understand their weaknesses. Recognizing how past experiences shape current identity is a sign of self-awareness and personal growth. It's important to approach such reflections with kindness and without judgment, as this process can lead to a more authentic and fulfilling life. Each person's path to self-discovery is unique, and it's essential to find supportive communities and resources that can aid in navigating these complexities. Remember, seeking professional guidance, such as therapy, can provide valuable support in understanding and accepting one's past and present.
jealousy and healing
Managing jealousy in polyamorous relationships involves a multifaceted approach that includes self-reflection, open communication, and setting clear boundaries. It's important to first acknowledge that jealousy is a natural emotion and can arise from various insecurities or fears. Recognizing the root causes of jealousy is a critical step in addressing it. Engaging in honest conversations with all partners about feelings, needs, and concerns can help to foster understanding and trust. Establishing and respecting boundaries is also crucial; this means being clear about what is comfortable for everyone involved and adhering to those agreements.
Practicing compersion, which is feeling joy when a partner finds happiness in another relationship, can be a helpful mindset shift. It's also beneficial to focus on personal growth and self-care, ensuring that individual needs are met outside of relationships. This can include pursuing hobbies, building a support network, and seeking personal achievements. Additionally, it's essential to maintain a sense of security within oneself, which can be bolstered through affirmations, therapy, or mindfulness practices.
Sometimes, jealousy can be a signal of unmet needs within the relationship. In such cases, it's important to communicate these needs constructively and work together to find solutions. It's also helpful to regularly check in with each other to reassess boundaries and relationship dynamics as they evolve. Remember, managing jealousy is not about eliminating the feeling but rather understanding and navigating it in a way that respects all parties involved. If jealousy becomes overwhelming, it may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a professional who specializes in non-monogamous relationships. They can provide tools and strategies to cope with and manage these emotions effectively.
In polyamorous relationships, jealousy can be triggered by a variety of factors. Common triggers include fear of abandonment, comparison with other partners, or concerns about not being "good enough" in some way. Physical attractiveness, economic stability, or emotional connection with another partner can also be sources of jealousy. When individuals feel threatened by these triggers, it can lead to feelings of insecurity and fear of loss. It's important to recognize that these triggers are often rooted in personal insecurities and may not necessarily reflect the reality of the situation.
Understanding and communicating about these triggers is essential in managing jealousy. Open dialogue about feelings, needs, and concerns can help build trust and security among partners. Establishing clear boundaries and offering reassurance can also mitigate feelings of jealousy. Self-reflection, including journaling and mindfulness practices, can assist individuals in identifying their triggers and improving self-esteem.
Exploring different polyamorous structures and maintaining individuality are key to managing relationship dynamics that may otherwise lead to jealousy. Creating a supportive community and educating oneself about polyamory can alleviate external judgments and strengthen connections. It's also crucial to differentiate between jealousy and envy, as they are distinct emotions with different implications for relationships.
Jealousy is about the fear of losing something one already possesses, such as a partner's affection, while envy involves desiring something that someone else has. Recognizing this distinction can aid in addressing the emotions effectively. Jealousy doesn't necessarily denote a lack of trust or love but can highlight areas within the relationship that may need attention or reassurance.
No one is immune to jealousy; it's a natural response that can be managed through self-awareness and communication. It can be a complex emotion, but it also signals opportunities for personal growth and deeper connection within relationships. By being aware of the narratives that one tells oneself during moments of jealousy, individuals can gain conscious control over them and choose stories that are constructive rather than harmful.
Jealousy often leads to fixating on stories about a dire future or involves comparisons that can make one feel worse. It's important to challenge these narratives and replace them with ones that contribute to a positive emotional experience. Regular check-ins with partners to reaffirm consent and discuss any changes in feelings or expectations can further help in managing jealousy.
Ultimately, understanding what triggers jealousy and how to navigate these feelings is a vital component of maintaining healthy and fulfilling polyamorous relationships.
Communicating jealousy in a polyamorous relationship is a delicate process that requires honesty, vulnerability, and a commitment to non-harmful dialogue. It's important to approach the conversation with a clear understanding of one's own feelings and the desired outcome. Begin by identifying the specific situations that trigger jealousy and reflect on the underlying reasons for these feelings. When expressing jealousy to partners, use "I" statements to focus on personal feelings rather than placing blame. For example, saying "I feel insecure when I see you with someone else" instead of "You make me jealous by spending time with them."
It's also helpful to express not just the feeling of jealousy but also the needs and desires that are not being met. This can lead to a constructive conversation about how all partners can work together to ensure everyone's needs are satisfied. Active listening is crucial; give partners the opportunity to share their perspectives and feelings. This fosters a deeper understanding and strengthens the relationship.
Setting aside a specific time to talk about jealousy can prevent the conversation from happening during a moment of high emotion, which can lead to harm or misunderstandings. It's also beneficial to establish ground rules for the conversation, such as no interrupting or dismissing each other's feelings.
Practicing empathy is key; try to understand the situation from the partner's point of view. Remember that jealousy is often rooted in fear, and reassurance from partners can alleviate these fears. It's also important to discuss what actions can be taken by all parties to help the person experiencing jealousy feel more secure.
Developing a plan for future incidents of jealousy can be helpful. This might include agreed-upon behaviors or signals that indicate when someone is feeling jealous and needs extra attention or reassurance.
It's essential to recognize that communication is an ongoing process. Regular check-ins can help prevent small issues from becoming larger problems and ensure that all partners feel heard and valued.
If direct communication is challenging, consider writing a letter or journal entry first to organize thoughts and feelings. This can be shared with partners either as a conversation starter or as the main form of communication about jealousy.
In some cases, seeking the help of a therapist or counselor who is experienced in non-monogamous relationships can provide guidance and tools for effective communication. They can offer a neutral perspective and help navigate the complexities of polyamorous dynamics.
Remember, the goal of communicating about jealousy is not to eliminate the feeling but to manage it in a way that is healthy for all involved. By approaching the conversation with care, respect, and a willingness to work together, it's possible to address jealousy without causing harm and to strengthen the relationship in the process.
Building trust in polyamorous relationships is a nuanced process that requires consistent effort and open communication. Trust is the foundation that allows for emotional safety and security within the dynamics of multiple partnerships. It's essential to establish a culture of honesty and transparency where all partners feel comfortable sharing their feelings, desires, and boundaries. Regular, open discussions about each partner's needs and expectations can help prevent misunderstandings and foster a deeper connection.
Emotional honesty is key; it involves sharing one's true feelings without fear of judgment or retribution. This level of vulnerability can strengthen the bonds between partners and create a safe space for addressing issues like jealousy. It's also important to honor the commitments and agreements made within the relationship. Consistency in actions and words builds reliability and trust over time.
Practicing active listening is another vital component. When partners feel heard and understood, it contributes to a trusting environment. It's also beneficial to show appreciation for each partner's unique contributions to the relationship, acknowledging that each connection has its own value and significance.
Developing trust also involves managing expectations and being realistic about the limitations and capabilities of each partner. Understanding that no one person can fulfill every need can alleviate pressure and allow for a more balanced and satisfying relationship dynamic.
Consensual agreements are a cornerstone of polyamory, and trust is reinforced when all partners adhere to the established rules and boundaries. These agreements should be revisited and renegotiated as needed, reflecting the evolving nature of the relationships.
Building emotional resilience is crucial for navigating the complexities of polyamory. This includes fostering a strong sense of self-worth and independence, which can reduce dependency and the fear of abandonment that often fuels jealousy. Encouraging personal growth and supporting each other's goals can also enhance trust.
Creating a support network, both within and outside the polyamorous community, can provide additional perspectives and resources for building trust. Engaging with others who understand the challenges and rewards of polyamory can offer valuable support and guidance.
It's also helpful to recognize and celebrate the successes and milestones within the relationship. Acknowledging the progress made in building trust can motivate partners to continue investing in the relationship.
In some cases, seeking professional guidance from therapists or counselors who specialize in non-monogamous relationships can be beneficial. They can offer strategies and tools to strengthen trust and address any underlying issues that may contribute to jealousy.
Ultimately, building trust is an ongoing process that requires patience, dedication, and a willingness to work through challenges together. By prioritizing trust and actively working to maintain it, partners in polyamorous relationships can create a fulfilling and harmonious dynamic that minimizes jealousy and maximizes love and connection.
Jealousy is a complex emotion that can arise in various relationships, including those within the family and in romantic partnerships. It's not uncommon for individuals to experience jealousy at some point, but when it becomes overwhelming or destructive, it may be time to seek help. Counseling can be an effective way to address and manage feelings of jealousy. Therapists can assist individuals by helping them differentiate between normal and harmful jealousy, develop better communication skills, identify cognitive distortions, learn emotional regulation techniques, and practice mindfulness to handle sudden surges of jealousy.
In the context of polyamory, where relationships involve more than two people, trust is paramount. Building trust in polyamorous relationships often requires open communication, emotional honesty, and consensual agreements among all parties involved. It's about feeling secure that all partners are committed to the agreed-upon relationship structures and values. When jealousy arises, it can be particularly challenging in polyamorous dynamics because it may affect multiple relationships simultaneously. However, with the right support and strategies, individuals can learn to manage jealousy constructively.
For those considering polyamory, it's important to ensure that any existing relationship issues, like jealousy, are addressed before opening up the relationship. This is because the complexities of managing multiple relationships can amplify existing problems. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore the root causes of jealousy and develop healthier coping mechanisms. It can also help individuals focus on self-care and build a strong foundation of trust, which is essential for any polyamorous or multi-family relationship to thrive.
Ultimately, healing from jealousy and building trust takes time and effort. It involves a commitment to self-improvement and understanding the needs and boundaries of all involved. Whether in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship, the goal is to foster a healthy, respectful, and loving environment where all individuals feel valued and secure.
Managing jealousy involves a combination of self-awareness, communication, and emotional regulation strategies. Here are some practical approaches:
1. **Mindfulness and Meditation**: These practices can help you stay present and reduce stress, which often exacerbates feelings of jealousy.
2. **Challenge Negative Thoughts**: When you notice jealous thoughts, question their validity and reframe them into more positive or realistic ones.
3. **Avoid Comparisons**: Focus on your own journey and progress rather than comparing yourself to others, which can fuel jealousy.
4. **Professional Help**: If jealousy is significantly impacting your life, seeking therapy can provide tailored strategies and support.
5. **Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)**: Also known as tapping, EFT can help manage intense emotions related to jealousy.
6. **Positive Affirmations**: Repeating affirmations can boost self-esteem and counteract the insecurities that often underlie jealousy.
7. **Exposure Therapy**: Gradually exposing yourself to situations that trigger jealousy can help desensitize and reduce the emotional response over time.
8. **Grounding Exercises**: Techniques like deep breathing or focusing on sensory experiences can calm the immediate physical and emotional reactions to jealousy.
9. **Trust-Building Exercises**: Engaging in activities that build trust with your partner can strengthen the relationship and alleviate jealousy.
10. **Journaling**: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can provide an outlet for emotions and help you understand the triggers of your jealousy.
11. **Exercise**: Physical activity can help burn off stress and clear your head, providing a healthier perspective on the situation.
12. **Focus on Positive Qualities**: Remind yourself of your strengths and achievements to counter feelings of inadequacy that may lead to jealousy.
13. **Communication**: Openly discussing feelings of jealousy with your partner can help address the underlying issues and find mutual solutions.
14. **Self-Love Practices**: Engaging in self-care and affirming your own worth can reduce the need for external validation that sometimes drives jealousy.
15. **Learn About Jealousy**: Understanding the emotion, its triggers, and its effects can empower you to handle it more effectively.
By integrating these strategies into your life, you can develop a more balanced emotional landscape and foster healthier relationships. Remember, managing jealousy is a process, and it's okay to seek help along the way.
Improving self-esteem is a journey that involves recognizing and appreciating your intrinsic worth. It's about nurturing a positive view of yourself despite imperfections and setbacks. Here are some strategies to enhance self-esteem:
1. **Self-Reflection**: Begin by identifying your strengths and achievements. Write them down and revisit them when you need a reminder of your capabilities.
2. **Positive Self-Talk**: Replace negative thoughts with affirmations. Remind yourself that you are capable, worthy, and deserving of respect and love.
3. **Set Realistic Goals**: Achieving small, manageable goals can boost your confidence. Make sure these goals are specific, measurable, and time-bound.
4. **Practice Self-Compassion**: Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and understand that failure is part of growth.
5. **Build Competence**: Learn new skills or improve existing ones. Competence breeds confidence, so invest time in personal development.
6. **Healthy Boundaries**: Learn to say no and set limits. Respecting your own needs is crucial for self-esteem.
7. **Exercise**: Physical activity can improve your mood and body image, which in turn can enhance self-esteem.
8. **Connect with Others**: Build relationships with people who appreciate and encourage you. Avoid those who are critical or dismissive of your feelings.
9. **Volunteer**: Helping others can provide a sense of purpose and increase feelings of self-worth.
10. **Celebrate Successes**: No matter how small, take time to celebrate your achievements. This reinforces the belief in your abilities.
11. **Avoid Comparisons**: Everyone's path is unique. Comparing yourself to others can be a trap that undermines self-esteem.
12. **Focus on What You Can Control**: Worrying about things outside your control can lead to feelings of helplessness. Concentrate on areas where you can make a difference.
13. **Mindfulness**: Stay present and engaged in the current moment. Mindfulness can reduce anxiety and improve your outlook on life.
14. **Seek Professional Help**: If low self-esteem is affecting your quality of life, consider talking to a therapist who can provide personalized strategies.
15. **Embrace Imperfection**: Perfection is unattainable. Embrace your flaws as part of what makes you unique.
16. **Develop a Support System**: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who boost your spirits and offer constructive feedback.
17. **Engage in Creative Activities**: Expressing yourself through art, music, or writing can be therapeutic and affirming.
18. **Practice Gratitude**: Focus on what you're thankful for. Gratitude can shift your perspective from what you lack to what you have.
19. **Dress for Success**: Wearing clothes that make you feel good about yourself can have a positive impact on your self-esteem.
20. **Maintain Good Posture**: Standing tall can make you feel more confident and assertive.
21. **Limit Social Media**: Too much time on social media can lead to unhealthy comparisons. Limit your exposure to maintain a realistic perspective on life.
22. **Learn to Accept Compliments**: Instead of brushing off compliments, say thank you and allow yourself to feel proud of your accomplishments.
23. **Keep Learning**: Lifelong learning can help you feel accomplished and knowledgeable.
24. **Be Patient with Yourself**: Self-esteem doesn't improve overnight. Recognize that it's a gradual process and be patient with yourself.
25. **Visualize Success**: Imagine yourself succeeding in your goals. Visualization can be a powerful tool for building confidence.
By integrating these practices into your daily life, you can start to see yourself in a more positive light and build a stronger foundation of self-esteem. Remember, self-improvement is a continuous process, and it's important to celebrate every step forward.
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